Should I Regret My Actions at My Child’s Wedding?

My son, Mike, used to be a loving husband and father. However, things changed after my grandson, Tommy, was born with Down syndrome. Mike’s behavior deteriorated, and he began cheating on his wife, Jane. Eventually, he left Jane and their child behind. To make matters worse, I recently discovered that Mike is getting married again.

As a mother, I know it’s essential to support and motivate our children, and I truly believe that my actions were justified.

Here’s how everything unfolded: Mike married Jane when they were both young because she became pregnant with Tommy. It was a rushed decision, but I liked Jane from the moment I met her. She was the sweet, girl-next-door type, and I was happy for Mike.

A few months later, my precious grandson, Tommy, was born. He had the most beautiful blue eyes, but he was born with Down syndrome, which dramatically impacted Jane and Mike’s relationship. Mike started cheating on her, and despite their history and having a child together, their marriage ended in divorce.

Mike left Tommy with Jane to care for him alone. I remained close to both of them, always willing to help, but it wasn’t the same. Every child deserves both parents if they’re alive and able, but Mike didn’t even try to be involved with Tommy or offer help in any way. I couldn’t understand how my son could be so cold and distant.

I begged him to return to his family, at least to help Jane, but he always shut me down.

Then things took an unexpected turn.

Last month, my nephew Liam came by to pick up a cake for his mom (I’m the family’s designated cook). He casually mentioned that Mike was getting remarried. I was stunned. I hardly knew anything about Mike anymore—what he was doing or who he was with. All I knew was that he was marrying someone new, and I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. My heart went out to Jane and Tommy as I thought about Mike’s drastic change.

So, fast forward to the wedding day.

I could hear Mike’s voice as I approached the church and heard him making his vows. Holding Tommy in my arms, I walked in, his little hands tangled in my hair. The shock on Mike’s face was priceless.

I turned to Mike’s bride, who seemed like a lovely young woman, and felt bad for her as she looked at me in confusion.

Before the ceremony continued, the officiant paused and invited everyone to go outside for a drink. I was fine with that, but instead of letting the moment slip away, I spoke up. While I wanted to humiliate Mike, I didn’t want to hurt his bride more than necessary. But I couldn’t hold back. I started telling everyone about how Mike had married young, had Tommy, cheated on Jane, and left her to raise their son alone with no support. I warned his bride about what she was getting into.

“Mike may be my blood,” I said, holding Tommy close, “but he’s not the man I raised. Jane is more like a daughter to me than Mike is a son.”

As I walked out, leaving the room full of stunned guests, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of satisfaction and sorrow. I didn’t want to hurt his bride, but I wanted to make Mike face the truth of his actions.

The next day, Liam and his mom (my sister) came over for coffee. Liam told me that Mike’s fiancée had burst into tears when I left, throwing her bouquet at Mike and storming out of the church, with her family following behind her. Mike was humiliated and confused, surrounded by guests who were likely waiting for Jane to show up.

Now, looking back, I wonder if I took things too far by disrupting Mike’s wedding. I’ll admit, it might have been extreme. But my goal was to teach Mike a lesson.

It’s not over for him—he can still make things right with Tommy. I’m open to Mike returning to our family as a son and father. But if that’s too much for him, I’d settle for him taking responsibility for Tommy in some way.

But now, I’m asking you: Do you think I was wrong to ruin my child’s wedding? If so, what would you have done in my position?